Today was a very emotional one for me. As I posted on Facebook today, my wonderful husband suggested that we go to visit the cemeteries where the women who were important in my life were buried. Before we began our trek, he took me for a Mother’s Day treat to a wonderful Thai restaurant where I gorged myself on delicious Pad Thai noodles – and even had leftovers.

We then headed out to Elba, where we picked up my cousin, Lois, who wanted to go along. Our first stop was the old Evergreen Cemetery in Elba. My whole family is buried there!

My Mother passed away in a horrible fire accident when I was seven months old and she was only nineteen. My Dad, not much older, was burdened with the job of selecting a burial place. He bought a huge lot at Evergreen Cemetery, never imagining the many who would be buried there. And eventually, my husband and I will be there.

My Mother, Jewell Catherine Adkison Cook, loved me, and spoiled me, so the legend goes. Through her genes, I received the looks and shape of the “Adkison Girls.”  We are all round in the middle, have long skinny legs, and where we used to have black hair, we all now have white hair. I have a love for doing crafty things, entertaining – and I used to love to cook and sing – all Adkison traits! I inherited, through her, macular degeneration, and the likelihood that I will have dementia – if the pattern holds. I also inherited longevity – may it be pleasurable or a curse. I am thankful for the fact that she gave me life and wonderful relatives.

My paternal Grandmother, Ma, Mittie Lue Hudson Cook, was 49 years old when she suddenly had an infant to raise. My Dad moved back in with my grandparents so that they could help take care of me. Suddenly, I was their responsibility! Ma taught me how to sew – not fine sewing, but the art of making string quilt tops – when I was 10 years old. She cooked, washed, ironed, and got up with me in the middle of the night when I was sick. She got me off to school every day and instilled in me the need to go to school every day and “get a good education.”  I took those words to heart. She taught me that you do not always need a recipe – she never used one. She taught me to never wear my good clothes, that I might need them for something special later. I totally disregarded that advice. If I have it, I enjoy it – whatever it is. Why have nice things if they are stored in a drawer? If you use it and it gets broken, so what – it is just a thing. If you have derived no pleasure in it, what is the point? She taught me to be good and to do good things. She also passed along longevity genes. I got them from both sides! She and Pa are also buried in the plot with my mother.

My sweet Granny, Martha Elvira Calhoun Adkison, was the kindest, most soft-spoken, uplifting person! I remember as a small child, I would visit her and Granddaddy. She had a wood stove and would cook me the most delicious fresh doughnuts EVER! I can still remember that taste – and I was only about 4 years old. She would make me fried cheese from the commodities she would get when I was a little older. She showed me how to make patterns for doll clothes and I learned why you cut a sleeve with a big curve at the top while watching her. She and Granddaddy are also buried in the plot with my mother.

My sweet stepmother, Earline Wilkerson Cook, loved me unconditionally. She sewed me pretty clothes on her breaks at the sewing factory because she didn’t own a sewing machine.  I remember a beautiful red taffeta Christmas dress. It had puffy sleeves and rhinestones and lace on the collar. She curled my hair into Shirley Temple curls and had my picture made in the dress. She sewed my school play outfits and she sewed my first wedding dress (I have had 3). I still have it. I cannot stand the thought of letting it go. Her sweet hands are still on it. She also sewed my sister’s junior bridesmaid dress – sewing both in about eight days. I got that proposal and I was ready to go! She is also buried in the plot with my mother, along with her baby daughter who was born full term deceased, and my dad and both sets of my grandparents.

I also visited the grave of my sweet Aunt Alma Estelle Adkison Spinks, who at one hundred exhibited more grace than I will ever have. She was the first beauty pageant winner of the family when she reigned at the Enterprise Nursing Home as The Queen for one year. She was the darling of the nursing home. Other patients and the staff loved her. She dressed up every day – putting on her powder, her stockings, and her jewelry. She was still playing the piano (despite blindness from macular degeneration) and playing bingo until Covid hit and she was put in solitary confinement in the nursing home for her last 2 years of life. She will always be one of my idols. She was buried in the new section of Evergreen Cemetery- across the road from the first one.

And then there was Aunt Hilma Inez Adkison, Cody Stewart. She was larger than life! No one could compare with her cooking. She was the cooking queen! The best yeast rolls and cherry cobbler, the VERY BEST cinnamon rolls (from the high school lunchroom recipes), the best fresh ham, the best fried chicken, the VERY BEST bucket steak (we called it that because she bought a bucket of it at the time.)  It was cube steak and she prepared it with the best gravy in the world! In addition to her unsurpassed culinary skills, that woman could sew! She could make or repair anything. She helped me sew school clothes at the beginning of every school year. I would buy remnants and she would miraculously create skirts, blouses, and jackets from these small bits. She made my prom dress as a surprise one year (of course, I never got to go to the prom), but I wore that dress. She made a beautiful bridesmaid dress for me once and I wore it several times for fancy occasions. I learned so much from her. She offered me refuge in the middle of a divorce and crocheted me blankets and made little silk jewelry pouches for my friends when I lived too far away to visit often. She taught me the true meaning of unconditional love and acceptance. We visited her grave where she is buried, in the Damascus Baptist Church Cemetery.

And in extraordinarily high regard, I hold Mildred Metcalf Johnson. She was the mother of my very best friend in the whole wide world, Margaret Ann Johnson Mann. Mildred was a surrogate mother to me. She taught me how to entertain, how to set the table, how to seat people at your table and how to use your beautiful things and enjoy them. She taught me that families play games together and that friends get together for fish frys and meals. She taught me how to can fresh pears and she made the best pear salad with those green and pink pears she canned. She always served them whenever I was there! She taught me that you can live elegantly on a budget and that you can send your children to college if you save your money and plan for their education. She taught me that you do things for your friends when they need a little help and that you accept people for who they are and not as you wish they were. She was a shining example of a true friend and role model. I do not know where Mildred is buried, but she was heavy in my heart today, anyway. I was unable to put my hands on a picture of her right now, but she was beautiful, loving, and classy!

And then there is the living role model. Aunt Pauline Cook Burroughs. She had a big hand in raising me, since she was only about 11 years old when I was thrust upon the family. She has taught me that you can overcome adversity, that you can love your children unconditionally and that you can make the best of life – even if it means that you develop macular degeneration and Parkinson’s older in life. I thank God that she is alive and well and enjoying Mother’s Day with her children!

My, oh my. What great, powerful women I have had in my life. If only I could be half as good as each of them. I have so many regrets in my life. If only I had learned my lessons earlier.